There’s an army of vibrating animals on my desk. I have a fish, a half-dozen ducks, and this penguin. Everyone thinks I’m joking about the fact that they’re sex toys, so I’m constantly putting batteries in and proving that nothing on my desk it what it seems. I can’t blame them for their confusion, though. This little guy looks so innocent that even I have a hard time believing he was designed for more devious things than keeping my ducks company.