Hard News: C-Case

Part of my day job is to review sex toys. After five years in the porn business, I’ve pretty much seen it all. Vibrators, dildos, rubber pussies, fetish feet, crops, floggers…. You name it, it’s probably crossed my desk at some point. But when I was asked to write about this condom box for Penthouse, I had to admit that it was new to me. Cardboard Trojan boxes I’d seen. Even plastic boxes. But a metal box that would neatly dispense one condom at a time while looking perfectly at home on your nightstand? It made my medicine cabinet seem so outdated.

Burlesque 101

One of my editors over at Penthouse is a huge fan of the odder things in life —- including burlesque and sideshow culture. She recently put together a really awesome feature about some of the coolest people in that world, and I was fortunate enough to grab a few assignments from her. Along with interviewing burlesque legend Jo Weldon (aka Jo Boobs) and writing up Operation Bombshell (which I’ll post about soon), I also got to write about my own attempts at shimmying and shaking.

Last summer, I signed up for a Burlesque Bootcamp class with Kitty Cavalier. I’d decided I needed to try something new, and I was taking every opportunity that presented itself. As it happened, my lovely editor Christine (who put this whole feature together) saw a Groupon-esque deal for burlesque classes, and sent it my way. I couldn’t turn it down! I bought three certificates, grabbed two of my most adventurous girlfriends, and off we went.

You won’t learn much burlesque in one evening, less if you have the grace and coordination of a bull in a china shop (which I do). But after a little more than an hour of thrusting and shaking and bumping and grinding, I manged to pick up a few tips. For the full story you’ll have to read the blurb, but suffice it to say, it was one hell of an experience!

If only every new hobby led to a byline… .